Letter to Family & Friends

Dear Family and Friends,

We have some exciting news for you. Many of you may not know this; however this past summer we called our parents and Grandma Marge to let them know that after 10 years together we had finally decided to get married. Given our long history, commitment to each other and commitment to our families, what we thought was an easy decision became quite complex.

When looking back at the many wonderful memories we’ve had over the years we instantly knew our families would be fully supportive of this announcement. It seems like yesterday we were all singing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve at the Italian American club in San Pedro – the year that Ed’s family was in California visiting Kristopher’s family for Christmas. The Kelly’s and extended family were so gracious and welcoming.

We still relive the joy of becoming uncles (Ed for the first time) to Sophia and then just two short years later, uncles to Madeline. Ed was honored to hear that his sister and brother-in-law asked him to be Madeline’s Godfather. It’s been wonderful watching these girls grow up and build relationships with us. Ed still laughs when Sophia calls looking for Uncle Kris.

Sure, if you asked us, we could write a book about the wonderful times we’ve all had as a family and how re-assured we would be that our families and friends would be right by our side the day we stand together making our commitment public to the world and official in the state we get married in. This wouldn’t sound complex to most that hear our stories, however Prop 8 would take this opportunity away from us.

Recently we've heard that there are some misleading advertisements in California with content that is not only surprising, but upsetting. These ads are aimed at convincing voters to vote yes on Prop 8. We can understand that many people who have not had the good fortune to participate fully in our family life could base a decision on lack of understanding and fear. It's our hope that our families - the ones we’ve laughed with, cried with, eaten with, gone to church with, celebrated with and shared such fantastic memories with would not do the same.

It's important to know that Prop 8 has nothing to do with children. Refuse to be scared. California superintendent of schools says the ads are absolutely not true. It does not affect what will be taught in schools. Many people would agree that the ideal family unit consists of a married man and woman. According to the latest census results less than 14% of California households actually fit this description. Are only these children born into ideal families worthy of the dignity and unique protections afforded by marriage? Over 52,000 California children are being raised by gay parents. Voting yes would deny them stability, dignity, and a multitude of legal protections. Stripping the right makes them think their family is less than equal. Less than worthy. Less than yours. If you really care about protecting children, vote NO.

When considering the argument that the Supreme Court should not be making this decision on behalf of the people, it's important to note that the call for same-sex marriage is a civil rights case similar to the legal battle that ended laws banning interracial marriage (Latino, African American, American Indian - all interracial couples). Just 60 years ago the California Supreme Court moved against public opinion to strike down the ban on interracial marriage. Had they not thought about the progress of the great state and this great nation some of our immediate and extended family may not even have the right to marry those they've committed their lives to.

We understand fully that we will continue to share what we have with many of you and will continue to be blessed with such great family and friends whether or not Prop 8 is passed. But, it's important to know that the consequences of passing such legislation can be quite serious and potentially life-damaging for us. It will directly impact emergency medical decisions, inheritance and death taxes, jointly owning property, and social security benefits. These are actually just a small handful of numerous examples where even very carefully drawn wills and durable powers of attorney have proven to not be enough. And although we don’t live in a state that currently affords us this right, last May, the Governor of NY directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions. Therefore we are directly impacted by the decision in California.

The intention of this letter is not to berate you with political statements and decry the misleading and untruthful advertisements floating across California. We think it's quite simple. It's not a matter of religion or politics. We believe in fairness, compassion, and equality for all people. Prop 8 does not. We can only hope that in November you look deep into your heart and remember the family values we all share and vote NO on Prop 8.